Why Are Some Myers and Briggs Types So Defensive?

Everyone responds differently to relationship challenges, but whether you stay cool and calm in conflict or unleash a torrent of fury can depend on your personality type. One common pattern of behavior is defensiveness, and some types are more likely to engage in this reaction than others.

Read on to find out which Myers-Briggs types are most likely to put up barriers in the face of a disagreement, and what they can do to improve their relationships.

What is Defensive Behavior?

According to the American Psychological Association, defensiveness is an ego-based response to criticism or threats of harm, either real or imagined. When you get defensive, you’re trying to protect yourself from what you perceive as a personal attack. 

Defensiveness can take many forms. Often, a defensive person will make excuses and refuse to take responsibility for their actions (e.g. blaming their colleague for mistakes in a co-created report). They might get angry (lashing out and verbal attacks), deny what happened (“I never said that!”), or gaslight the other person into doubting their own reality. They might laugh at the other person, dismiss their concerns, respond sarcastically, or change the subject. They might roll their eyes and cross their arms — physical expressions that someone is turning away. The message is the same: the other person is the problem, not them.

Most people can get defensive sometimes, which is normal. But it’s not healthy when it becomes a regular pattern of communication. Over time, it can erode your self-esteem and damage your relationships. 

The Role of Personality in Defensiveness

Your personality plays a key role in how you respond to criticism. Different personalities respond to conflict in different ways, and you may be more or less likely to get defensive, depending on your type:

• Introverts tend to internalize negative feedback and withdraw to process their feelings, while Extraverts are more likely to speak up or lash out at others.
• Sensing types focus on concrete facts, rules and past experiences when feeling defensive. Intuitive types may become overwhelmed by possibilities and interpretations.
• Thinking types may appear argumentative or cold, but less likely to take criticism personally if it's constructive. Feeling types are more likely to take criticism personally, and focus on harmony over confrontation.
• Judging types rely on plans and structure, and can become critical when their sense of order is threatened. Perceiving types may change the subject and resist being boxed into a corner. 

When you combine these functions into individual types, certain patterns of behavior appear. Here’s a closer look at how each of the 16 types engage in defensive behavior. 

Least Defensive Types

ENTP – ENTPs are less likely to feel personally attacked and less likely to get defensive because they see criticism as information to explore. However, they are natural arguers, and their instinct could be to nitpick or poke holes in an argument rather than listening to the other person’s point of view. ENTPs benefit from taking a moment to think about the feedback before they react — someone may have a valid point.

ENTJ – ENTJs see criticism as an avenue for growth more than a personal attack. When someone gives them criticism, they’re more likely to be intrigued than get defensive. At the same time, they will fight against whoever is causing them stress and engage in fierce intellectual debates to prove their point. When their anger subsides, they may begin to feel more vulnerable and withdraw to hide their fragility from others. 

INTP – INTPs like thinking and analyzing information, so they may become a little defensive and argumentative when someone questions their ideas because they invest so much in them. Most of the time, though, they handle the criticism logically. In personal relationships, INTPs can become distant, rather than defensive, to cope with difficult feelings. More overt defensive might show up if mood swings and anxiety hamper their ability to think clearly.

ESTP – Outgoing ESTPs like to take action and make things happen, so they’re more likely to see criticism as a challenge or opportunity and less likely to get defensive. Their ability to live in the moment and focus on facts means they tend not to take things personally, but they can be dismissive, critical or sarcastic when they feel attacked. They can lash out in this way as a defense when they feel unable to confront their own feelings.

INTJ – INTJs may not get defensive in a work situation, where they see criticism as a useful tool, but in personal relationships, they may feel things more deeply. As Thinkers, they detach from their emotions and look at the situation from an analytical, logic-driven perspective in an effort to deny their own hurt feelings. Over time, they can become competitive and argumentative with others as they struggle to gain control over the situation. 

In the Middle

ESTJ – ESTJs are objective thinkers who appreciate efficiency and effectiveness, so if anyone criticises their methods, they tend to see it as an attack on their competence. If they see criticism as a way of improving their work, they can accept it. But if they feel disrespected, they might become overwhelmed by their own emotions and lash out or refuse to accept others’ views. ESTJs often find it difficult to express their emotions, so they can take on the role of martyr and isolate themselves as they struggle to cope with their feelings of self-loathing. 

ISTP – These introverted, independent types can take constructive criticism and they will avoid conflict unless they’re backed into a corner. But a personal criticism can leave ISTPs feeling stressed and more emotional than usual, which may lead to defensive behaviors such as lashing out and retaliating (“You’re not so perfect, either!”). They can also engage in childish behaviors like temper tantrums and gossiping. 

ISTJ – ISTJs are practical types who tend to stay calm in the face of criticism. They prefer to reflect on the logic behind the conflict instead of having a stand-up argument. However, while an ISTJ may appear stoic and in control, they feel things very deeply. Criticism can lead them to doubt themselves and question their own competence. If conflict escalates or their standards are challenged, the ISTJ’s defensiveness might show up as stubbornness, inflexibility, or an insistence on precedent — “this is how it’s always been.” 

ESFP – ESFPs are outgoing, energetic people who like to create positive experiences for everyone. They can get defensive when they feel like they’re being attacked for their efforts to enjoy the moment. They can get irritable and moody if their intense emotions get the better of them, and argue with people they believe caused the stress. 

ESFJ – ESFJs are focused on relationships and people and can easily become offended and defensive when they feel they’re being unfairly criticized. They try so hard to make a good impression on others, to the point where they can become insecure, clingy and people-pleasing in the hope of gaining someone’s approval. Over time, they can resent others for making them feel so dependent and insecure.

ISFP – As sensitive, feeling types, ISFPs are deeply connected to their own emotions and values, and are easily hurt when those values are criticized. They’re in the middle group because their defensiveness is often so subtle and avoidant that others may not notice it. They may give the silent treatment rather than confronting the issue directly or adopt passive-aggressive strategies like being late or offering backhanded compliments to cope with their fragile feelings.

Most Defensive Types

INFJ – Introspective, empathetic INFJs are more likely to become defensive because criticism can feel like an attack on their values or intentions, which affects them deeply. They tend to withdraw in conflict to process their feelings and can engage in self-destructive behaviors like eating or drinking too much to suppress their overwhelming feelings. In extremes, the INFJ will permanently cut off all contact with someone after a long period of being hurt or disappointed (the INFJ “door slam”).

ENFJ – Like INFJs, ENFJs are empathetic and relationship-focused, so criticism can feel particularly personal. They can easily respond with defensive behaviors like justifying their actions because they feel they give so much to others. They tend to focus on looking for a rational explanation and intellectualize the situation as they try to figure out problems by themselves instead of discussing them with others more openly. Eventually, their pent-up emotions can lead to physical symptoms of stress like skin rashes and erratic behavior like quitting their job.

ENFP – Most ENFPs find managing their emotional response to criticism challenging. They are passionate about their ideas and values and get defensive in the face of a perceived attack on their creativity or vision. They tend to procrastinate and avoid problems for as long as possible, but when that doesn’t work to resolve issues, they may passionately defend their beliefs with vigor, sometimes coming across as stubborn or even self-righteous.  

ISFJ – Caring, conscientious ISFJs work hard to support people and hold high standards for themselves. Criticism can feel particularly hurtful for these types and lead to self-protective, defensive behaviors. ISFJs rarely display open anger in the way some other types might so their defensiveness might look like holding grudges, icy silences or martyr-like behavior (“I guess I'll just do it myself").

INFP – Like their INFJ cousins, INFPs put a lot of effort into their relationships and doing what they feel is right. It takes them time to trust people, so anything that feels like disapproval can be difficult for them. They might react indirectly at first (“It's fine, I just need space”) but eventually will react by getting upset. INFPs can get overwhelmed by their own feelings of self-doubt. Defensiveness can surface as an intense emotional outburst, but this is usually followed by guilt or regret.​

Final Thoughts

Self-awareness is the key to personal development and changing your defensive behavior. Every type can start by identifying their defense mechanisms and understanding how these patterns affect their behavior and relationships. When both people take a deep breath and consider how their actions may have impacted the other person, they create an opportunity for open, honest communication and a healthier relationship.