Why Am I Different from People with My Myers-Briggs Type?

Your colleague was talking about their Myers-Briggs type and you couldn’t help yourself. When the boss wasn’t looking, you sneakily opened a tab, and took the TypeFinder® test for yourself. The results had you pegged. Your personality type described you to a tee, and you honestly felt seen.

You headed straight to Reddit and joined a sub dedicated to your type. As you idly scrolled through the thread, though, you couldn’t help feeling like something was off. The personality people were describing didn’t sound like you at all. Disappointment washed over you. You started to second-guess your results, thinking that maybe you’d made a mistake.

So, you Googled “Why am I different from people with my Myers-Briggs type,” and ended up here, reading this article. While you may be feeling confused, the truth is there’s variation in every type, and that’s completely normal. It doesn’t mean your type is wrong.

In this guide, we’ll be covering why two people with the same Myers-Briggs type can come across so very differently, and the four main factors causing these differences. Let’s get into it.

1. Personality Types are a Spectrum

When you get the four-letter code that designates your type, you might think that every letter (or trait) is black and white. You’re either an Introvert (I) or an Extravert (E); a Thinking person (T) or a Feeling person (F). But it doesn’t work like that. The scales of measurement used in the 16-type system are exactly that—scales. Virtually no one sits at one extreme end or the other. You fall somewhere on the spectrum between the two with most people clustering around the middle. Your letter is simply the end of the spectrum you’re closest to.

That difference can impact how you come across. For example, someone who leans slightly toward Judging, say 55% on the scale, may notice they need only a loose plan to manage their day and can switch things up when they need to. Someone who is strong on the Judging scale, say 80%, might describe a day that involves detailed schedules, firm decisions made in advance, and anger when others don’t stick to the original plan, even when better options appear! They might have the exact same Myers-Briggs type on paper, but act differently in reality.

There’s plenty of room for gray areas, and that’s precisely how it’s meant to be. The Myers-Briggs system was never supposed to be a rigid box-ticking exercise. Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Briggs based the system on work from psychologist Carl Jung, and he viewed the traits more like general tendencies than strict personality rules.

So, within your Myers-Briggs type, you may have some tendencies that are weaker or stronger than others. That doesn’t mean that your type is wrong, it’s just a normal level of variation between individuals. After all, no two people are 100% the same in personality.

2. Experience Can Change How You Act

Your type is essentially a set of four personality functions (known as dichotomies, preferences or scales) that influence your behavior. The description of each type covers how these four functions come together, and what that is most likely to look like in each person.

But there’s another factor we can’t overlook: your personal experiences.

For example, your job influences who you are. It’s common for someone’s career to push them to strengthen a trait that doesn’t actually come naturally. Or you may have been through a stressful experience, like losing a loved one, that taught you to change the way you process emotions.

You may have spent time boosting your emotional intelligence (EQ), which can change how you react to certain scenarios. And yes, that time in therapy could have paid off. So, while you may be a Feeling type according to your Myers-Briggs results, you could have learned the skill of taking a step back and looking at things factually and logically first. You’ll always be a Feeler, just one who has built the muscle to zoom out and bring clear-headed analysis into the mix.

Whatever the case, life experiences won’t change your type, but they can alter how you act within that framework. For that reason, two people with the same Myers-Briggs type can come across differently, because they have worked on different traits over the years.

Your age has a role to play here. Younger people may not have developed their functions as heavily as more mature people. Personalities tend to evolve as we get older, so someone may become more Introverted or lean more into their Feeling side with time.

3. Other Personality Systems Influence You, Too

Right now, we’re only talking about the 16 type system developed by Myers and Briggs. But it’s not the only personality model out there. How you score according to other systems may also impact your behavior, and thus how you “live” your type.

The Enneagram system can skew how different Myers-Briggs types look. Your Enneagram type covers your core motivations, innermost fears, desires and coping mechanisms (i.e. what drives you to behave how you do), while your Myers-Briggs type explains how you process and make decisions. The former can intensify some aspects of the latter.

To get a better all-around view of what makes you unique, it’s helpful to look at both Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram together. 

Let’s say you’re an Enneagram Type 6. You’ll be driven by a need for security and a desire to be prepared for whatever life throws your way. If you’re an ENFJ, according to Myers-Briggs, you will want to organize people for the greater good. However, thanks to your Type 6 fears, you will typically ask others if they think your approach is right and look for confirmation first.

Now imagine a different ENFJ who is an Enneagram Three. They may show up as far more image-conscious and achievement-focused, pushing those “greater good” projects forward quickly and confidently, with less visible second-guessing. If those two start chatting in an ENFJ forum on Reddit, they’ll both recognize themselves in the big-picture posts about caring and helping. But their comments will pull in different directions, one circling around safety and reassurance, the other around impact and success.

The two facets of your personality work together to create a version of you. So, if you and someone who shares your Myers-Briggs type don’t act the same in all scenarios, you might want to look at your Enneagram type.

4. Your Childhood Experiences Impact You

Attachment theory suggests that the emotional bond you have with your caregiver as a child directly impacts how you are in relationships as an adult. Your attachment style is all about how you show up for others, how you connect with them, and what you do when conflict happens.

The four attachment styles are: Secure Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Anxious Attachment and Disorganized-Insecure Attachment. Unlike personality types, your attachment style can change over time. Someone with an Anxious Attachment can work on themselves to become Secure instead.

The style you have right now does not change your Myers-Briggs type, but it can change how it looks externally. For instance, if you’re a Feeling type, meaning you prioritize personal values, empathy and harmony in relationships, but you have an Avoidant Attachment, you may keep people at arm’s length, despite your personality trait of valuing emotional connection.

In theory, your attachment style can “mask” your personality type. You could act differently to someone with the same Myers-Briggs type as you, especially when it comes to relationships. 

Takeaway

Your Myers-Briggs type tells you all about how you process the world around you. But it’s not the only thing that influences your behavior and how you come across to others. If you feel different from other people who share your personality type, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been mis-typed. Before rushing to retake the test, consider any other factors that may be impacting how you show up to other people, and how they, in turn, show up to you.