Are You Dating for Love or Just to Fill the Void? Your Myers-Briggs Might Explain It

Not all relationships are driven purely by love. Yes, sometimes we’re genuinely drawn to someone and want to build a future together. Other times, we’re more drawn to not being alone…or let’s be honest, bored. 

Your personality type can reveal whether you’re a genuine romantic who dates for the long haul or if you’re someone who doesn’t mind a situationship or two when things get a little sad or quiet. So let’s talk about which types in the Myers and Briggs system are which. 

The Soulmate Seekers

INFJ: Waits for Something Real

INFJs are unlikely to enter or stay in relationships “just because.” Authenticity is non-negotiable for them, so if their heart isn’t fully in it, they won’t be able to fake it. And their values wouldn’t allow anything less than a deep emotional connection. When INFJs feel empty inside, they’re more likely to seek emotional refuge in a creative project or journal to make sense of what they’re going through than get involved with someone they know they have no future with.   

INFP: Falls Fast, Feels Deeper

INFPs also crave authentic, soulmate-type of love, so they’re very unlikely to date just to fill the void, at least not consciously. However, they can idealize someone very quickly and rush into a relationship with them, believing they are “in love.” What they often don’t realize is that part of this intensity comes from trying to escape their inner emptiness. It’s not a calculated move and it’s definitely not shallow. It’s just unconscious.

ENFP: Chases Sparks But Craves Depth

While ENFPs crave a soul-deep connection, boredom could push them toward someone who provides stimulation but zero long-term potential. But they’re unlikely to stay in that relationship for long unless it evolves into something real. Once they realize there’s no future there, they’ll start feeling boxed in and maybe a little like a fraud. At that point, staying just to fill the void feels unethical—both to themselves and the other person—and they’ll view it as their moral duty to break things off.

ENFJ: Blurs the Lines of Love and Duty

While ENFJs don't usually date just to kill time or uncomfortable feelings, their altruism can lead them to fall into a shallow relationship and get stuck. For example, they might start spending a lot of time with a struggling friend, initially just to mentor or support them. Before they know it, the lines between “being a support system" and “being a boyfriend/girlfriend” begin to blur, and they find themselves in an “almost-relationship” they never “signed up for.”

The Strategic Partners 

ENTJ: Chooses Love That Fits the Plan

ENTJs are unlikely to romance someone just to fill an emotional hole. But they might "invest" in a person who complements their life plan, even if their heart isn’t fully in it. For example, they might hit it off with someone they met at a networking event because they share similar ambitions, look good on social media, and have a compatible lifestyle. They aren’t totally faking it. They genuinely appreciate the person’s company and their hotness, but they might not be “in love” in that deep sense we associate with the word. 

ESTJ: Settles for Status and Stability

If ESTJs are dating to fill a void, it’s usually the “status and stability” void. They value the image of being part of a power couple or having a traditional family unit, even with a person they aren’t head-over-heels for. If they meet someone who is reliable, shares their values, and keeps a clean house or calendar, they might commit without the butterflies. In fact, they don’t usually think that butterflies are even necessary.

INTJ: Plays the Long Game

It’s a rare sight to see an INTJ date to fill a void. If they’re with someone, it’s because they’ve vetted and chosen that person for the long haul. They value their time far too much to waste it on a mediocre connection just to avoid being alone. And during those rare periods when they feel lonely or uninspired, they simply turn to their hobbies and to-do list. For an INTJ, being productive is an infinitely more effective void-filler than lukewarm date nights or half-present Netflix and chill.

The Homebody Lovers

ISFJ: Stays for Comfort and Familiarity

ISFJs won’t jump voluntarily into relationships just to stay busy or keep their mind off things. Where they can veer into that territory, however, is when it comes to staying. Because ISFJs value familiarity and emotional comfort, they may stay in a relationship because it feels secure and known, even if the connection no longer hits the same emotionally.

ESFJ: Dates to Share a Life, Not Just Feelings

For an ESFJ, life is better when it’s shared. So, if they find themselves single for too long, they might start dating someone even if the spark isn’t there. It’s not that they’re trying to lead anyone on. They still genuinely value the person they’re with, but the relationship is more about having someone to come home to, share meals with, and fill the social and emotional gaps in their life rather than just acting out of “being in love.”

ISTJ: Holds On for Predictability

If ISTJs get into a relationship, it’s because they have every intention of giving it a serious shot. But while they don’t initially enter relationships to fill a void, they might stay in them to do exactly that—specifically, to fill the void of not having an anchor that provides structure for their life. In other words, ISTJs can end up staying in a relationship not because they’re still in love, but because it provides the predictability which gives them comfort. 

The No-Strings Players

ESFP: Goes All-in On the Moment

If life starts feeling a bit dull, an ESFP might just throw themselves into a casual relationship right after a fun first date. They're fine with the no-strings dynamic because they aren't looking for a “happy forever”—they’re after a fun “right now.” They’ll still care about the person, though the ESFP’s 100% "now" energy could accidentally send them a mixed signal, making them feel like things are more serious than they actually are.

ESTP: Dates for the Thrill, Not the Commitment

If an ESTP’s life starts to feel unadventurous, they might start dating someone just because it’s something to do. On the outside, this might look like a full-blown relationship of dinner dates, late-night talks and romantic getaways—but they aren’t really serious. It usually ends in one of two ways: either something (or someone) new and more exciting comes along, or the other person shifts gears into serious romance mode, such as dropping hints about moving in together or meeting each other’s parents, and the ESTP runs away.

ENTP: Keeps it Casual 

Driven by constant need for stimulation, ENTPs often treat dating as a low-stakes hobby rather than a high-stakes emotional pursuit. A typical dynamic involves them sweeping someone up into their active lifestyle and “stringing them along” as long as it benefits them. And when the thrill wears off, they might hit them with something like “We’ve had our fun, now it's time to go our separate ways.” They don’t see this as manipulative. They often assume that the other person shares their laissez-faire attitude about the relationship, even if that’s far from the case.

The Low-Maintenance Situationships

ISTP:

ISTPs are natural lone wolves so they won’t date to fill the void of loneliness. But they might start hanging out with someone for fun and shared activities and end up becoming intimate because they got caught in the moment. That said, ISTPs aren’t the type to lead someone on in a manipulative sense, though they might let things “coast” because… why not? But once expectations start piling up (e.g. talk of moving in or labels), they’ll quietly pull away. 

INTP:

As highly cerebral and self-sufficient types, INTPs don’t usually date out of boredom or need for company. They’re more likely to dive down some mental rabbit hole than seek a romantic connection to fill that gap. But they might start seeing someone because that person shares their niche interests and is no-drama, even if the spark isn’t really there. It can feel a lot like a friends-with-benefits type of relationship, but with more mental than physical focus. 

ISFP:

ISFPs are guided by the here and now and can drift into relationships that feel good in the moment without giving much thought to the long-term. A common scenario is when they start hanging out with someone, one thing leads to another, and suddenly they’re in this comfortable, undefined situationship. But once the realization hits that this isn’t truly their person, they’ll likely pull away in a slow fade fashion, gradually distancing themselves to avoid the harshness of an “official” breakup.

Final Words

At the end of the day, it’s quite hard to find a relationship destined to be a sweeping, cinematic romance. And the truth is, not every romantic connection has to be. Human intimacy is a spectrum, and there’s nothing wrong with having a partner in crime for a time, just wanting someone to come home to, or a straightforward friends-with-benefits arrangement. Dating to fill the void only becomes a problem when one person is building a future while the other is just killing time. So, as long as you're transparent about your intentions, it's all good.